I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
