Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
farters have to be the big spoon...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
