He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
