Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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