I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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