Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
