There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
