If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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