Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
