Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize