Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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