It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
