Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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