its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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