Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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