I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
