GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
