thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
