I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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