I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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