Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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