is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
