he puts the penis in happiness.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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