dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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