I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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