I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize