i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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