There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
