its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love having hate sex.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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