All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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