i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
