No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize