it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The Olympian is in my bed
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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