so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize