I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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