everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
