Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
