Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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