Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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