You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
