sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
