Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
