he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
