Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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