dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
