We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
