college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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