Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
