Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
