he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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