Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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