I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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