I seem to have left my pride at pride
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Enjoy the penises
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
