White coat. Heels.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
