No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
