Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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