Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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