Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two words: blizzard sex
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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