she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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