Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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