Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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