You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
