I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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