Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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